Pieces

Thanksgiving Horror Movies for the Pilgrim in All of Us

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Horror fanatics can truly attest to the fact that there is an unsatisfactory amount of Thanksgiving-themed horror films to divulge in during the month of November. Luckily, there are a few to tide us over until Christmas and all its holly jolly, blood spattered, and jingle belling mayhem.

 

1.) Thankskilling (2009)

While this camp-tastic movie was intentionally bad and out of this world ridiculous, its still one hell of a watch. Proud to have boobs within the first 5 seconds, Thankskilling boasts terrible acting and plenty of awkward moments. It’s a movie to not watch with your family or anyone who doesn’t know the true you- strictly for your fellow freaks and your poor significant other. However, the villainous turkey’s colorful vocabulary and much appreciated puns makes it worth while. Gobble gobble, motherfuckers.

2.) Home Sweet Home (1981)

While it’s based around Thanksgiving time, Home Sweet Home could easily be called “just a slasher,” which at its deepest roots, is just that. However, the focus on familial bonding during the holiday season (even dysfunctional families do it) and the lovable, cliche homicidal maniac make it so much more than a slasher. It makes it a Thanksgiving slasher. With a die-hard KISS fan, to boot. One of many 1980s mediocre side dishes of gore, this flick sure does has its moments of both delight and blandness.

3.) Blood Freak (1972)

Vegans need not watch; Blood Freak is just a random ass 70s drug and sex movie with turkey experiments gone wrong. Reminiscent of Pumpkinhead, a unfortunate biker just looking to score winds up becoming a giant, turkey headed monster with a vigilante complex. Not necessarily a Thanksgiving themed plot or story line but hell, who doesn’t think of Thanksgiving when you think of turkeys? (ahem, vegans.)

Honorable Mentions: These films aren’t associated with turkeys, giving thanks, or native Americans. However, they may get you in the holiday spirit of overindulgence, baking, and of Christmases to come. Keep calm and carve on, freaks!

*Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street; What cook doesn’t feel like Mrs. Lovett’s after 12 hours of cutting, baking, rolling, and killing? The music is quite nice too!

*Cannibal Holocaust; It’ll either make you really hungry or really not hungry. For everyone you know’s sake, I hope it’s the latter.

*Paranorman; Only because there’s zombie pilgrims. That’s pretty much it.

*Thankskilling 3; Turkie is pissed off and on the hunt for the only remaining copy of Thankskilling 2. Please watch while completely baked.

For any film makers reading this, you should probably invest in a football-themed horror film. Or another Thankskilling.

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